The number on the pack page is the client one, not the server one
The author memory recommendation was measured on the client, with one person playing, and a good share of it goes to rendering, texture atlases and mods that live on the player side. None of that loads on the server.
Something else takes its place: every player keeps their own chunk radius loaded, and everything inside it is processed on every tick. A pack that fits in 6 GB for one person goes past that with six players in different corners, because that is six active regions instead of one.